Let’s take a closer look at cheating. The Exam Room had the pleasure of speaking with Peter Pankey aka Peter Gunz, TV Host of Cheaters. This show has helped countless individuals that suspected cheating find the truth that they need. Though for years we have watched this show as a form of entertainment, it exposes the raw emotions associated with the moment the cheating is exposed.
Everyone handles cheating differently. You may decide to hibernate for weeks, while stewing about your partner’s act of infidelity. Or, you may choose to ignore the news and continue on with your life as if nothing has happened. It’s important to understand that both are perfectly normal reactions. In fact, there’s no right or wrong way to react to such devastating news.
But at some point or another, you will have to come to terms with what has happened. You’ll have to find the will to dig yourself out of the emotional slump you’re currently in. If not, the mental and emotional trauma can overwhelm you. Let’s discuss the 7 Tips to Healing from Infidelity.
Do Not Blame Yourself
For your mind to fully accept that your partner has been unfaithful, you must set aside your emotions. It’s important to understand that there is logic behind every action, even one as foolish as infidelity. Most people believe that infidelity stems from sexual dissatisfaction. But, a lacking sex life isn’t always to blame for an act of infidelity. There is no justification for cheating and you mustn’t blame yourself for someone else actions.
Evaluate Your Feelings
Your heart is hurting. Your mind isn’t at its best. And it feels as if the world is caving in on you. All of these feelings are perfectly normal and quite expected. In fact, if you don’t feel at least one of these symptoms even mildly, you likely aren’t as emotionally attached to your partner as you’d like to think.
Take The Time You Need
It’s often best to spend time reflecting on your relationship by yourself for a few days. Surrounding yourself with the overwhelming advice and strong opinions of others may drive you towards making a decision you may later regret. Take a few days to think about what has happened away from the distractions of others. Send your kids to grandma’s house for a few days. And send your partner to a hotel, or at the very least, the guest room, until you’ve accepted the situation and thoughtfully determined your next step.
Accept Your Emotions
Allow yourself to feel the natural emotions spilling from your soul. Trying to oppress them will only make them lie dormant for the time being. Then they’ll eventually work their way to the surface and you’ll experience them all over again. Allow yourself to cry, scream, sulk, curse, and do anything else (within reason) that your emotions compel you to do. You’ll feel better once all of the angst and depression is out of your system. This is important for emotional healing.
Garner Support From Loved Ones
In such a painful time, you may want to be around family and friends. Being with your loved ones may lessen the emotional impact of the infidelity.
Deal With Your Pain In A Healthy Way
Whether you’re planning on remaining with your partner or diving into the single life, coping with your pain is necessary to give yourself a fresh start. There are productive and unproductive ways to deal with your pain.
Unproductive Methods of Coping with Pain
- Drinking Alcohol
- Binging on food
- Chain smoking
- Taking drugs
- Hurting yourself
- Hurting your partner
Productive Methods of Coping with Your Pain
- Consulting with a certified couple’s therapist
- Attending spiritual retreats or church groups
- Seeking online forums dedicated to overcoming infidelity
- Reading relevant books
- Journaling your feelings
- Confiding in a friend
Explore Your Options
You can contact a professional, close friend, or a stranger online. The important thing is to get your feelings out into the open. Alternatively, if you prefer to keep your partner’s act of infidelity private, simply journal your feelings. Journaling can help you express your emotions and think through different options.
You must take the time to process what has happened and that you properly deal with your emotions to avoid long lasting mental and emotional effects. Only you can determine how much time you need and whether or not you want your significant other back. No matter your decision, taking the steps to emotional healing will help you be healthy and whole and not die from a broken heart.